This winter, I’ve been trying to eat seasonally. Instead of throwing together anemic tomatoes and lackluster lettuce to make a mediocre salad, I’ve been sautéing kale with bacon and pecans, braising leeks in butter and chicken stock, and mixing parsnips into my mashed potatoes. Folks, I’ve been eating like a king. How could I eat so wrongly every winter for a quarter-century?  That’s a lot of bad food.

I didn’t even know what a parsnip looked like until last year. In the local supermarket, they’re expensive and hidden in the back. To get decent vegetables, I’ve been going to the local coop. They’re worth the price. Listen up, you primitive screwheads: if you haven’t been eating seasonally, start now. Don’t do it for your health. Do it because good food is one of the most basic pleasures in life.